God knows we need an antidote for all the rotten men in the news – and I think I’ve found one | Emma Brockes

FIn the last month, every woman I know has had versions of the same conversation that began something like, “For God’s sake, how rapey is the news?” No period of history has been free of reports of male sexual assault. But the current list of alleged perpetrators — Diddy, Fayed, the French rapist and his endless accomplices, various broadcast scandals and, last week, new charges against the man who keeps giving in on the issue, Harvey Weinstein — is particularly grim. For just one day I’d like to turn on the news without having to hear a presenter struggling to say “Lube” in a BBC voice. So let’s talk about something else: Doug Emhoff.

Doug Emhoff! The husband and consort of Kamala Harris, a man who could very well become the first First Gentleman of the United States and, as far as we can tell, an antidote to rotten men everywhere. This week I heard Emhoff referred to as “Wife Guy,” which made me smile – Wife Guy is at once a beautiful expression of affection for men who unconditionally support their wives, and also a reminder that there is no word for there can be a female equivalent. (What’s the use of the tautology of being a “husband chick” when for heterosexual women, the definition of the word “wife” includes full, unwavering support of your husband).

Anyway, Emhoff – what a rare beast. A former entertainment lawyer, a music guy who named his children after jazz legends, a man who is extremely adept at playing the lovable goofball, which doesn’t rule out the possibility that he is a lovable goofball, and a husband who seems completely is happy to encourage, support and cheerlead his high-profile wife. In my opinion, Emhoff, who is 59, has the energy of Dan Aykroyd or perhaps John Goodman: the everyday American dad who can rock a plaid shirt on the weekend and whip up a quick trial to defeat his enemies on Monday.

How Emhoff summed up this sentiment depends on a mix of things. The fact that his name is Doug definitely helps. Has there ever been a bad “Doug” in public life? (No.) Doug is easygoing. Doug is reliable – but not boring! Doug shows up. Doug quit his job when his wife became vice president so he could give her everything. Doug is human, although opponents of left-wing positions in Israel regarding his Judaism claim that Doug has exaggerated his heritage for political reasons. That sounds dangerously close to Donald Trump’s observations about Harris’ background, but whatever the case, it’s all part of Doug Emhoff’s 360-degree perspective. After all, Doug isn’t perfect!

I mean, he really isn’t. Earlier this year, Emhoff admitted that the end of his first marriage to Kerstin Mackin in 2008 was messy and that he had been unfaithful. It’s not ideal, I know. Significantly, however, Emhoff’s first wife to keep his name was extremely active in supporting Harris’ presidential bid. As JD Vance lashed out at Harris for not having biological children – a sentence that has yet to be typed – Kerstin Emhoff appears to defend the Democratic nominee, calling Vance’s comments “baseless attacks.” She told CNN: “Kamala has been Doug and I’s co-parent for over 10 years, since Cole and Ella were teenagers.” She said she was grateful to have her as part of her blended family.

That brings us to the Emhoff children. As far as anyone knows, has there ever been a hipster’s first son or daughter in the White House? Of course, look back long enough and who knows; Perhaps in 1798, Abigail Adams rode a penny farthing through the West Wing drinking mojitos from a teacup. But recently, every one of them, from Trump’s kids, the Obama kids, the Bush twins and Chelsea Clinton, seemed perfectly primed for a post-grad internship at Goldman Sachs or a Hollywood nepo arrangement. Ella Emhoff, on the other hand, is a knitwear-focused designer based in Bushwick, Brooklyn. She appeared at the Democratic National Convention earlier this year covered in tattoos, wearing pebbled glasses and a vintage dress.

There are other wives’ men out there, although you have to search quite a bit to find them. A friend suggested Alexis Ohanian, husband of Serena Williams and millionaire co-founder of Reddit. Ohanian has his own thing going on, which doesn’t guarantee that a man won’t be annoyed by his wife’s success. But in public, Mr. Serena Williams always seems overjoyed to be by her side. There is a dispute over Prince Harry’s wife. You probably need to bring Denis Thatcher into this conversation. I’m sure there are others.

But this is about Doug Emhoff, who, as far as we can ever know about other people’s relationships, provides further evidence of Harris’ good judgment. She could have had anyone, but she chose Doug, and that’s a lesson for all of us. Whoever that may be, find your Doug Emhoff – maybe on the second try to be on the safe side – and run for the biggest job you can imagine.