Agatha All Along – Review: Season 1, Episode 3

It is only episode three of Agatha all the timebut we have already arrived at the first test of the coven. At the beginning of “Through Many Miles Of Tricks And Trials”, Agatha, Teen, Lilia, Alice, Sharon and Jen appear on the road of the witches. The set is practicalno CGI, and it’s pretty impressive. The crew built it modular, so they could move the trees and scenery around at will to make it look different as the coven travels further down the road. Visually, it’s a treat. It’s constantly dark, but full of rich colors and textures, and it creates a perfectly creepy and ominous tone, worthy of being the show’s main visual metaphor.

With Sharon distracted and the ground sucking her in like quicksand, Agatha lays down the most important rule: don’t leave the road. Since Agatha is the only one who has traveled the road before, the group wants more information: what awaits them along the way? “The road will test us and our knowledge of the craft,” Agatha answers. “A test for every skill.”

As many of you correctly noted in my recap of the first two episodes, I got the number of episodes in the series wrong: there are nine total, not six. This makes the overall structure of the series a little less obvious to me. If each of the five witches, except Teen, gets an episode and trial tailored to their specific talents, that means we have two episodes left and more time for a conventional Marvel ending with a big, effects-heavy battle.

Before they head out in earnest, Jen has a few more questions. “How do we pass (the trials) without power?” she asks. The concern is valid: Wanda stole Agatha’s power, and Jen is currently bound and unable to access hers. Alice has never done magic before, Sharon isn’t even a witch, and it quickly becomes clear that what’s plaguing Lilia is quite serious. As a group, they are extremely outmatched for the challenges they face. However, Teen is quick to point out that even if they lack raw power, they aren’t underleveled. They have the experience needed to get through these boss fights; they just need to be clever about it. “Witchcraft, emphasis on ‘craft,'” he says.

Jen, however, does not let any teenager cheer her up and replies: “Again, who are you?” “I am (Name distorted),” Teen replies, and the whole coven’s jaws collectively drop. Looks like the (black) cat is out of the bag. We quickly get a little of what’s bothering Teen: Someone has put a seal on him, some sort of spell that hides him from other witches. Teen has no idea who could have done this or why. The rest of the coven is immediately suspicious of Agatha, but she deftly directs their concerns towards reaching the end of the road. To do so, they must face the trials, and it seems the first has something to do with the beautiful beach house that just appeared before them. The quiet-loud luxury aura of the house, coupled with her earlier protests, suggest this is Jen’s trial.

As they approach the house, Teen notices that the front door is marked by the full moon. Astrology experts, now is your time: a quick search tells me that the full moon is associated with healing, but I’m sure there are many nuances I’m missing.

The group undergoes a transformation as they enter the house. Their clothing and makeup change from their individual style to that of celebrities in their off-duty days, all white and cream and with a can’t-sit-with-us attitude. “I look like one of my clients,” Jen says, grimacing in the mirror. “It’s Huge little lies everywhere,” comments Lilia, alluding to the main homage of this episode, Big little lies. There is also a bit of Nancy Meyers pastiche. (The house also recalls Diane Keaton’s ultra-luxurious Hamptons escape in You have to give something.) Agatha all the time However, does not use the opportunity for social criticism and focuses exclusively on Jens’ insecurities as the trial begins. As in WandaVisionthe homages are fun, but they’re also superficial. Instead of integrating the setting into the story, it’s just superimposed on top like an Instagram filter.

Inside, they find a note with a riddle they must solve: “My age has value. I’m no fun on my own. I confuse you; my tricks are known.” Sharon calls out “Wine!” when she sees a few bottles on the dinner table, and who would have thought, that’s the answer to the riddle too. They all have to drink the wine, and Jen correctly guesses that it’s poisoned. She has to brew an antidote within 30 minutes or the poison will kill them (except Teen, because he’s underage and technically not part of the coven).

Before they open the bottles, Jen pulls Teen aside and warns him to be careful around Agatha. She’s clearly not worried about him and is more interested in stirring the proverbial pot (or kettle). Teen tries to brush her off, but she drops a bombshell that shakes even his fanboy faith in Agatha: She says there’s a rumor about Agatha that she’s using her own son for The Book of the Damned. No one knows what happened to him. Maybe he’s dead; maybe he’s a demon or working for Mephisto. “I doubt she’d even recognize her own son if he showed up at her door,” she concludes with the subtlety of a Las Vegas casino sign. Combined with the earlier conversation about Teen’s crest, this is such an obvious clue that it has to be a misdirect. I was suspicious of Agatha at the beginning and was pleasantly surprised at the end of the first episode, so I’m intentionally giving the show the benefit of the doubt this time. I don’t think they’ll pull off anything truly surprising — like everyone else, I’m putting my money on Teen Wanda’s son being Billy, aka Wiccan — but I really doubt he’s Agatha’s son.

Sharon is the first to pounce on the wine, and doesn’t seem worried about the poison. Or maybe she still doesn’t fully understand the life at stake. Or, more likely, she knows exactly how much danger they’re in and is trying to block it out. Maybe that’s why she’s going back to a second class so quickly. Agatha tries to get away with not drinking, but Teen spots her glass still full and threatens to drink it instead. The way she reacts so quickly to stop him suggests that she clearly has some kind of protective instinct towards him, even if she’s pretending not to. Is this further proof that he’s Agatha’s son, or further deception?

After Sharon’s face swells up into a black market Botox nightmare, Jen identifies the poison: Alewife’s Revenge. For an antidote, she needs frankincense, a corpse that has been decomposing for 30 million years, the intestines of a eusocial insect, and the eye of a newt. The others go in search of the ingredients as the poison begins to take effect and symptoms quickly set in. They experience hallucinations: Sharon has a flashback in which she is under Wanda’s control, Alice sees her mother, Jen feels a man trying to drown her in the sink, Lilia sees a young girl speaking Italian, and Agatha hears a baby crying. When she examines the baby’s crib, she sees The Book of the Damned instead embedded in the sheets.

After they gather all the ingredients, Jen has a moment of doubt while brewing the potion. This time, it’s Agatha’s turn to give the pep talk. “I always hated you,” Agatha says. “But I left you alone because what you did was important. Not that kale-kare crap, the real work. They can take your power, Jen, but they can’t take your knowledge.” It’s a good one as far as “we’re going to die if you don’t get your shit together” talks go, but it rings hollow because we don’t know what that real work is. We don’t learn any more details about Agatha and Jen’s relationship, like how long they’ve known each other or why they hate each other. That’s information we need if we’re to really understand where Jen is coming from, but even in an episode dedicated to her and her power, Jen’s story remains frustratingly opaque.

It doesn’t feel earned when Jen gets the potion right, but they all drink it at the last second. Since Sharon was the first to drink the wine, she’s already unconscious by the time they’re done with the antidote. They try pouring it down her throat, but it doesn’t seem to have any effect. But there’s no time to deal with it, because now that they’ve completed the attempt, the house is quickly filling with water. It’s time for a quick exit through the furnace, which has conveniently turned into a chute leading back to the street. They push Sharon down, then jump in one by one. As they dust themselves off below, Teen delivers bad news: Sharon is dead. One attempt down, one member gone. If this trend continues, no one will be standing when they reach the end of the street – except maybe Teen.

Scatter observations

• • Of course Sharon is a stationery nerd. Rest in peace, Mrs. Hart. I will miss your crazy, loyal Christmas tree shop customer energy.
• • Teenager looking at the beach house: “It makes me feel like I’m getting a second chance at love in middle age, and I’m here for it.”
• • The girl who sees Lilia asks her in Italian: “Do you want to see?” Later, Lilia screams, also in Italian: “She’s dead. They’re all dead.”
• • A corpse that has been decomposing for 30 million years turns out to be petroleum; the gut of a eusocial insect is made of honey; and newt eye is just a funny name for mustard seed.
• • Cooking a potion using a sous vide device is just the right amount of bougie for this episode.
• • Interesting statement from Teen when she talks to Alice about how her mother forced her to get a tattoo with a symbol that was supposed to ward off curses when she was 13: “A lot happened to me when I was 13, too.”