YORK, Maine – Charlie Caramihalis often says his late son Nicholas is “sitting on his shoulder” as he goes to work each day to run the Fat Tomato Grill.
August 28 marks the one-year anniversary of Caramihalis’ purchase of the York Village classic from longtime owner Dan Poulin. The purchase was a heartfelt tribute to Nicholas, a baker who worked at the University of New Hampshire and tragically died by suicide in 2018 at age 29.
Inside the sandwich shop, a sign on the wall informs customers that Fat Tomato Grill is still a father-son project. There is a framed picture of Caramihalis and Nicholas together. Statues and pictures of elephants, Nicholas’ favorite animals, are also scattered around the shop to keep his memory alive.
“He and I always dreamed of opening our store together,” Caramihalis said. “It gives me hope and strength every day, knowing that he is here with me.”
Preservation of York Village: Why the city hopes a zoning change will save downtown
Father and son dream of opening a store together
Caramihalis shared that his son Nicholas faced numerous challenges at a young age, including physical health issues and depression and anxiety. Nicholas grew up in Sanford and enjoyed wrestling for his high school team. However, during his senior year, doctors discovered that he was born with a congenital hip dislocation, forcing him to stop wrestling.
Despite this setback, Nicholas graduated and took a different path: studying culinary arts at UNH. According to his father, he was a gifted baker who excelled at making wedding cakes and other types of mass-produced baking.
Caramihalis shared the culinary path with his son, teaching culinary arts and nutrition at UNH for 41 years. As the son of a teacher mother and a commercial fisherman, Caramihalis said he was instilled with a strong work ethic. He retired with tenure after also working as director of food service at UNH’s Memorial Union Building, known as MUB.
Caramihalis said Nicholas took a job at UNH after graduating from college and the two carpooled to work. At the time, they talked about starting their own business together.
“He and I always dreamed of opening our own store together,” Caramihalis said. “Something I could buy and give to him when he was done, and then I could play in my sandbox and come and go as I please.”
Can you hear me now? York wants to eliminate dead spots
A day this father will never forget
Caramihalis said he had long been concerned about his son’s depression. He said Nicholas had been taking medications that had helped him, but he often stopped taking them.
“I told him, ‘Look, it’s because your body isn’t naturally producing something you need. It’s not a drug. It’s something you need to be able to function,'” Caramihalis said.
Caramihalis never heard his son talk about suicide, other than Nicholas’ promise that he would never take his own life.
“He always said, ‘Dad, you don’t have to worry about that. I love you too much,'” Caramihalis said.
The two drove to UNH together on the morning of September 5, 2018, like any other day. Caramihalis was teaching his classes and Nicholas was working at the bakery in Holloway Commons.
“We did what we always did, we kissed and said, ‘I love you, son,’ ‘I love you, daddy,'” Caramihalis said.
When Nicholas dropped his father off, he rolled down the window, Caramihalis recalled.
“He said, ‘I really love you, Dad,'” Caramihalis said. “That was all.”
The next call Caramihalis received that day was from Nicholas’ girlfriend. Nicholas had been found in his father’s yard. He left a message explaining that “life was more than he could handle,” Caramihalis said. In the message, he apologized, including for leaving behind a young daughter.
Caramihalis believes his son was “tired of being tired,” he said.
“I believe he hanged himself in my backyard because he knew he was safe there,” Caramihalis said. “Not to punish me, but because he knew he would be found.”
“I’m definitely excited”: The Nevada Hotel’s Tiki Bar Lulu on York Beach is now open to the public
Fat Tomato Grill is a tribute to Nicholas
Caramihalis said his son’s death shattered their dream of opening a business together, but it didn’t mean the end of the dream. Caramihalis lived in York full-time for 20 years and was a volunteer firefighter with the York Beach Fire Department for 15 years, so he felt a strong connection to the community.
Last year, he learned that the owners of York House of Pizza were selling their business. Pizza was the original idea for the business he and his son had envisioned. However, the price was too high and the pizzeria was sold to someone else. Still, rumors spread that Caramihalis was interested in a business. Then he met Dan Poulin, who had opened Fat Tomato Grill in 2011.
“He said, ‘Hey, I heard we’re getting another friend in the village,'” Caramihalis recalled.
Caramihalis told him the deal with York House of Pizza fell through, but the conversation planted a seed. He said that same summer, Poulin offered to sell him the Fat Tomato. His chef was leaving, Caramihalis said, and Poulin was ready to move on.
“He graduated on 26.thI opened on the 28th.th”, said Caramihalis.
The menu remained mostly the same, although he scaled back some dishes. Caramihalis said he tried to keep prices the same, even though the cost of ingredients and other supplies continues to rise.
“I am proud to have maintained the standards that Dan has become known for,” Caramihalis said.
Caramihalis said while his son looks down on him, he still has no one to leave the store to when he retires, and given his desire to stay employed, the prospect of doing so in the near future is unlikely.
“I have retired twice and failed miserably,” Caramihalis said.
Caramihalis said he is suffering from grief over the loss of his son and also the recent deaths of two brothers. Two years ago, his younger brother Peter died of pancreatic cancer less than a month after being diagnosed.
To keep going, he borrows a mantra from his other brother: “Get through the next 5 minutes.” He also wears a gold necklace with an elephant, which his son loved for its combination of strength and peacefulness.
“I fell in love with it because it was my son’s favorite piece,” Caramihalis said. “It brings me closer to my son.”
