twww.thegrio.com/By MONIQUE JUDGE | Guys, can you believe summer is almost over and fall is almost here? Football preseason has started, baseball season is in full swing and the WNBA is back, and that means people are gathering in bars, pubs, parking lots, homes and everywhere else to watch their favorite teams, drink alcoholic beverages and eat foods symbolic of sports and happiness.
They’re chicken wings. I’m talking about chicken wings.
As a black woman, I personally use any excuse to eat chicken wings. It could be a day that ends with “y” and I say, “Let’s celebrate! Chicken wings!”
Every time I order wings—whether it’s at Popeyes (they’re good!), Wingstop, the Cuban Spot (if you live in LA, Versailles has the best wings!), or anywhere else—I always ask if I can get just flats.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll eat any piece of chicken wing that’s put in front of me, including the chicken thighs, but when you put a dollar figure on it, the flat piece is the better piece.
First of all, it is easier to get rid of all the flesh and still maintain my dignity in public.
Don’t pretend I’m the only one who eats chicken wings one way in public and a completely different way when alone or with close friends and family.
In public, I break the flat piece apart with my fingers and pull out the flesh to gracefully place it in my mouth.
When I’m alone, I put the thing in my mouth and suck all the meat off in one go. It’s possible if you know how to use your tongue. It’s the best way to lick the apartment, but unless you want everyone staring at you and wondering where your table manners are, you probably won’t do it in mixed company.
Let’s compare that to the drummette. The drummette is still a good piece of wing. I especially like the little bit of cartilage that is attached to the top of the bone after you eat the big meaty part of it.
If you know, you know.
The thing is, if you eat chicken thighs in public, you have to leave that little bit of cartilage there, and then you’ll have a pile of bones on your plate that other black people would look at and say you’re wasting good chicken, when in reality there’s no dignified way to bite that bit of cartilage off in front of other people because, as I said, you’re not in mixed company.
The flat side contains a lot of flavor and spices, especially the small end that –
You know what? I’ll eat this little end piece of my apartment no matter who’s watching because I like pretty things.
But back to my point: the flat meat is more tender than the drumsticks piece.
And again, I eat chicken legs. I can’t stress this enough. Aside from the head and feet, there is no part of the chicken I don’t eat.
The deal is that the Flats are the star of the show. Drummettes are the understudy.
Yes, they act well in a pinch, but when you go to the theater, you want the movie with the main cast.
Be that as it may, feel free to argue among yourselves.
I said what I said.
Flats are the best part of the chicken wing. Period.
Monique Judge is a storyteller, content creator, and writer living in Los Angeles. She’s a word nerd, a fan of the Oxford comma, spends way too much time on Twitter, and has more graphic t-shirts than you. Follow her on Twitter @thejournalista or visit her at www.thejournalista.com.
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For chicken wings, the flat is the best
