Non-Eagles Rooting Guide for Week 5

Each week we’ll publish a guide to sifting through non-Eagles games on the NFL schedule for those of you still on the sidelines and following other action around the league. And yes, I realize that (a) the Eagles need to get themselves together and (b) most of this is obvious. Ideal winners in bold.

NFC East

• Cowboys at Steelers: This is the Sunday Night Football game. In the 1970s, many football fans across the country chose these two franchises as their favorite teams because they combined to win six Super Bowls that decade. They then passed on their cowardly choice of favorite franchises to future generations.

They’re both annoying. The Cowboys are consistently among the most overrated teams in the NFL, despite their predictable annual choke jobs. Meanwhile, Steelers fans get credit for “traveling so well,” which I’m sure they do to some extent, but in reality their stupid “Terrible Towels” just stand out, making it look like There are more Steelers fans present at away games than is actually the case. Either way, this Bandwagon Fan Bowl is going to get monster reviews.

(And of course, any loss by the Cowboys is welcomed by the Eagles.)

• Brown tones at Commanders: This game is relevant for the Eagles in two ways:

1. The Commanders are 3-1 and appear to be legitimate contenders to win the NFC East this season behind an explosive offense led by Jayden Daniels.
2. The Browns are the Eagles’ Week 6 opponent.

If the Commanders win this matchup, which they are favored to do, they will have a 1.5 game lead over the Birds in the division. Did the Commanders view the Cowboys as the Eagles’ biggest threat in the NFC East?

• Giants at Seahawks: At some point it will be ideal for the Giants to win games so they can destroy their draft position and miss out on the quarterbacks who break away from the pack. We’re not there yet and it’s more ideal if the Seahawks somehow manage to win the NFC West instead of the 49ers.

NFC vs. NFC

• Cardinals at 49ers: Any 49ers defeats will be welcomed by every NFC team. Don’t hold your breath this week.

• Panthers at Bears: The Bears would be an ideal playoff opponent should the Eagles get there, while any losses the Panthers have are best when it comes to having a higher pick than the Giants.

• Packer at Aries: The Packers will be a force in the NFC at some point. The more games they lose while Jordan Love recovers from his knee injury, the better for the rest of the teams in the NFC.

NFC vs AFC

• Jets on Vikings: On the surface, a Vikings loss to a more ideal AFC team seems obvious given Minnesota’s undefeated record, but I’m not so sure. A Vikings division title in the NFC North is more ideal than if it were won by the Lions or Packers, who in my opinion are the better teams and would be more dangerous in the playoffs. So for now, it’s probably best for the Vikings to continue placing Ws in the standings and then wait for them to come back down to earth later in the season when opposing offenses start to unravel Brian Flores’ defense.

• Saints at Chiefs: Ultimately, I don’t think the Saints matter. If they make the playoffs, that’s fine. The Eagles dominated them despite the close result in Week 3. Better if they win the NFC South than the Bucs, who have the Eagles’ number.

For future reference

The following teams in bold play the Eagles this season, so they’re worth keeping an eye on, but it doesn’t matter who wins these games.

1. Ravens at Bengal
2. Colts at Jaguars

Irrelevant to the Eagles

1. Dolphins at Patriots
2. Bills at Texans
3. Raiders at Broncos

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